‘Well, you go ahead to the bathroom first, and I’ll brush my teeth. And, I’ll meet you back here in, say, six minutes?’ ‘Why six?’ I asked. ‘Because it’s not five, and four is probably too short,’ he answered with a reasonable tone. It struck me a curious. ‘Six minutes, then,’ I agreed. ‘Right here? Or, do you want to use the other bed?’ ‘I have an emotional attachment to this one,’ Shug said. ‘It’s where we first became intimate. I like this bed. I’ll probably have to buy it from the motel.’ ‘You’re crazy, aren’t you?’ I said. ‘It is, after all,’ Shug said, that reasonable tone in his voice again, ‘a very special bed.’ ‘Of course it is,’ I nodded in agreement, trying not to smile and to use that same reasonable tone. ‘I’m going to the bathroom now.’ ‘Can I kiss you before you go?’ Shug asked. ‘I’d really rather not,’ I told him. ‘Morning breath and all.’ ‘How about right here,’ he said, placing a finger on my shoulder. ‘There would be fine,’ I assented. Shug leaned upwards and. I just needed time to think. I have to sort some things out in my life."She was silent for a minute. "What does that mean?" I mean... I mean that I don't know whether I'm lesbian or bi or hetero or what the hell, and I care for you and I want to be with you, but there all these risks, and dangers that I never even thought about--" I told you Marisol is out of the picture, Nina, she and I--" It just has all gone so fast, Danielle. I fell into your world, you didn't fall into mine. I've got all this hiding I have to do... lying, sneaking around... it's... it's not... working." Do you want it to work?"What a harsh question, I thought. "If you're asking me if I love you and want to be with you, of course I do. I'm just scared. I'm scared of losing David, even though he's just a dumbass some times, I... I'm scared of my own reflection in the mirror, I'm scared of Marisol, and I'm scared of losing... of losing..." Of losing beautiful Nina-land," she completed the sentence for me."I'm not.
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