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How was I supposed to react to the little branches tickling my skin? Chop them off? How would the redwood’s owner react when he discovered that I’d trimmed his branches? I chewed my hair in an effort to keep the noise of laughter inside my body. The trapped laughter helped. The panic subsided and I stopped freaking out. The smooth canopy of the redwood jammed right up against my orifice. Not the orifice I was expecting but an orifice non the less. “Oh my giddy God!” Surely the owner of the giant redwood knew enough about the female anatomy to know that he wasn’t supposed to stick his stump in there! It was touching me. Pressing into me with blunt intent. The breath on my neck was coming in short, choppy bursts. What were the thoughts going on behind my head? The stump was pressing in and out, as though looking for somewhere to lay root. Its owner must have been awake. Must have been. I turned round, ready for a conflict, ready to fight, to complain but saw only flickering. I couldn't see her ass, since she had a wrap around her waist ( I hate those things).Chris and I started to climb the trail. We weren't very far along and Chris said "that chick is following us!" I turned and saw she was. I also noticed she was wearing flip flops, not the kind of shoes to be climbing the area we were at? Which also confirmed she was indeed following us? We were wearing gym shoes.So I stopped and sat on a rock. I said "Hi!" She stopped and looked up with a smile and said "Hi" back. She walked up the hill a bit toward us and stopped about 6' below me. "Do you live on the island?" "No, I live in Portland." I'm here for three days then onto Australia." "By yourself?" "Yes!" "That's quite adventurous!" I said."Do you want me to take your picture?" "Yes, please!" I had to practically jump down off the rocks I was standing on. So I said "can you move back just a bit, so I don't knock you over?" "Oh, ok." She stepped back just a bit. But I knew it wasn't far enough. But I.
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