’ With tears in my eyes, I fought against his arms and screamed, ‘I can’t, and I just can’t! I know you’re going to hurt me, just like dad did!’ Santa just held me tight and did nothing but say, ‘I love you. I will never hurt you, as if I was his daughter. Repeatedly, until I felt his love radiate to the deepest part of my soul, where my injured spirit dwelled. Slowly I began to relax and I realized that he was a man, and wasn’t hurting me. It was then I felt the magic of Christmas surge through my body. I don’t know how he did it, but I felt a peace come over me that I never felt before. It was then I asked Santa, ‘Is this a dream, or am I talking in my sleep? You know, I do that sometimes, I wouldn’t want mom to hear me, she’d think I have lost my mind.’ Santa laughed and his stomach shook like a bowl full of jello, ‘No, this is not a dream and you’re not imaging things. We are in your room sitting on your bed talking, and I’m holding you like a hurt child. You are the only one who. It was a chilly fall night, and I had a lot of skin exposed to the air. I hunched my shoulders and pulled his jacket tight around me. And I watched as Sam dug a pack of matches from between the pack and the cellophane wrapper, then he pulled a cigarette out and put it between his lips. The pungent odor of the match being lit hit my nose, replacing the comforting scent of Sam and the smell of freshly-cut wood. Then, as he lifted the match to the cigarette between his lips, I noticed that it wasn’t a normal cigarette. It was pointed at the ends and wrinkly, not smooth the average cigarette. And when he lit it, and a different scent hit my nose, it clicked. My step-brother took a couple hits off the joint, then seemingly nonchalantly, he held the wrinkled, smoking tube to me. I just stood there, shivering and looked at him. I’d never smoked pot before. I’d taken puffs from regular cigarettes before and didn’t much like it. Then our eyes met and I saw the.
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