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As far as this one instance of infidelity, if I had my choice I would prefer a life of happiness never knowing that you had been unfaithful because once I know something like that I can’t forget. I could never feel completely comfortable with you again, never completely trust you again. It would essentially ruin our relationship. Knowing the truth would make me miserable both with you and without you. So if your love is true, I would prefer that truth over the truth of fidelity or infidelity.’ There was a long bout of silence. ‘That sounds pathetic,’ she said finally, ‘and also extremely wise.’ ‘Probably some of both,’ I chuckled. Her mood seemed to soften then, too. ‘I’m really so happy that I met you, Jackson. I will try to take your advice and be a good wife to Brian. But I don’t regret what I’ve shared with you today, I don’t regret it at all.’ ‘We still have a few more hours,’ I said, getting up off of my knees and helping her to her feet. ‘Oh God, I’m exhausted! I’m going to. This time around though the equation was changed as there were more than one couple now and so they were sleeping next to each other in the tent. That meant I was sleeping next to Sahi. In all these years together, the only thing I have done that is remotely capable of being qualified as intimate has been giving her my shoulder to cry on. Never have we even held hands before! (yup, 7 years and nothing!) Sleeping next to her was a little awkward but I guess the two of us were a little too sapped from the trek to care too much. As we all snuggled in, the couples were busy sharing words of love (and maybe a bout of light petting) whilst the two of us fell asleep. Sometime in the night when my sleep was broken and I lay sort of half aware and half awake, I sensed her hand wrapped around my chest as she lay there snuggled up against me. Young men and their hormones should not be trusted too much. After much argument with myself and an eternity of trying to lay my qualms to rest, I.
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