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I started wearing sweat suits, talking to less people, every day was a gray day for me. But I couldn’t give Jasmine up, I loved her. Our sex life was only worst. Most days, I couldn’t get it up because I was so insecure about my penis. Everything about it. The shape, the size, the color. When I could get it up, the sex just wasn’t good. We only went until Jasmine got off. I hadn’t gotten off through sex in months, I only relied on my hand. I was sitting at the fountain on campus one day, reading Steinbeck. That’s when Kevin showed up. ‘Oh honey, look at you. You look like a confused gym student, transitioning to art student, gone wrong.’ I heard in a soft, lispy voice. I looked up from my book and he was smiling and shaking his head. He was a typical flamer boy. He was almost half a foot shorter than me at 5’5′, was very skinny, pale, had bleach blond hair, green eyes, and was wearing all the ‘fag wear.’ Black tank top, tight jeans, and flip flops. He had pins all over his man purse. ” His voice was soft. He wasn't growing annoyed or short tempered, but merely stating what he saw as facts. “I could have been the world's best roadie.” I said with a smirk.“School.”“And when did you ever care about something as mundane as school, Jack?”“Since my best friend turned out to be one of the smartest people in this neighborhood. Someone who could actually make something of herself if she stayed at it. Someone who could do better than what this neighborhood had to offer her. Someone utterly brilliant in every way. Someone who deserved more.” He looked me straight in the eye as he spoke, but as soon as he was done he looked away. His eyes searched around the room. My stomach flipped at his admitting to thinking of me as his best friend. I was nearly four years younger than him, but from the time I was 11 and he first moved to the neighborhood, I spent more time with him than anyone else. I was 13 the first time I crawled through his window, my parents constantly too doped out.
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