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“Now why would you want me to do something like that?” she asked. “I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don’t want some other wanker using my stuff”. She looked at me and said: “What makes you think I’d marry another wanker?”Sent my washing to the cleaners the other day with a note enclosed ‘use more soap powder on pants’. When the laundry came back there was another note attached ‘use more paper on arse’.I asked my Kiwi mate how many sexual partners he’d had, he started counting and then drifted off to sleep.A bloke’s son fell asleep at a party, so for a laugh they decided to shave his eyebrows off and draw a cock on his face? His wife went fucking mental when she looked in his cot!A man goes into the local corner deli. When the clerk, a very buxom young girl, asks if she can get him anything, he leans over and whispers “Is it true that you give hand jobs in the back room?” “Why yes, sir” the shop assistant coos. “I’ve already had 5 satisfied customers this morning, and. Me: Sweet.A silence rolled in. An awkward silence. I'm not one to feel awkward.Me: So why are you just now talking to me after—A response appeared before I could finish my thought.Jack: You're probably wondering about why I'm even talking to you… Yeah, It's awkward for me too man, but I thought you were cool from the Chemistry class we had together my Junior year. I don't think you even saw me—I flunked out the year before and had to retake it, so I was kinda hiding in the back… it wasn't 'cool' to be seen taking a Sophomore class your Junior year, and I had a reputation to hold for Track.I backspaced. Shock. He was in my class! That's how I knew his hair color… He had taken off his notorious ski hat to hide. God, psychology is weird.Me: Ohhhhhhhhh, right, I remember that! Gotta love high school society. Reputation was everything. But how's come if you thought I was cool you didn't say anything after that? I mean, we coulda hung out together or whatever.Jack: Yeah… guess I could have,.
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