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Now I know what you're thinking, speeches and handshakes and pats on the back, what a great year its been for the business and how we're all going to strive to make the next year even better, blah blah blah. Fuck that, that's not how we do it. Some people dress up, others are in jeans and their old hoodie, we have a great meal and then avail ourselves of our gracious hostess' hospitality and open bar. We eat, we drink, we smoke, we dance, and we are very very merry.To begin, I must provide a little history. This year was my second Christmas Party with this company, when I attended last year's party, I had only been employed there for about a month, still very new and didn't know many people. Apart from coffee break, this was the first time I had attended anything of a social nature with this group, and I had been hearing tales of fantastic parties past in the days leading up to it. Being so new, I hadn't really planned on attending but the stories were so good, I couldn't say. Some of my clients and the companies I subbed for, stayed with me, but then some of them found their order books suffering. In less than a year I had to call in the receivers and my company was sold by them to a competitor. With little or no cash coming, I couldn’t pay the mortgage on the house Cassandra and I bought to spend our married life together in, so the bank foreclosed and repossessed it. My personal bankruptcy followed soon afterwards and I moved down to the coast where I took up the profession of a full time drunk, supported by social services. I was by then living in a disgusting little bed-sit halfway between the social office and the one pub I frequented when I had enough cash. So there I was that morning enjoying the first decent pint I’d had in over a week when my nemesis walked in the door like they owned the bleeding place. I’d just about had my fill of Chief Inspector Conway and his Sergeant sidekick, so I was ready for the buggers when and if they walked over to.
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