Lovers Fucking
We both were occupying our lower birth & train was moving swiftly, but the wobbling of our boogies when it passes over disturbances cause her jugs to shiver. I am not a pervert type & even that event make this journey all the more romantic for me. She was complaining about how air conditioning of these trains won’t let one sleep, I was just wondering is it an excuse she’s giving for the time we both enjoying & stealing it from the night. Then it felt as if the train stopped, I looked outside the window, we were stranded on a bridge over a moonlight river (I am not adding this with my imagination). The scene was serene to say the least. When she saw outside, she was very excited and wishes how she felt like doing bungee jumping from the very spot and start telling how she enjoys outdoor activities. OK, now is the perfect time to shed some light on myself. I am complete 180 degree opposite from her, a complete non risk-taker (easy come, easy go little high little low). Opposites. In short, with a lot of time and pain and expense, I could become abouthalf the boy I used to be.How am I going to pay for all this? I don't want to ask Mom, she'sstrapped already from my college costs.Maybe I'm just looking for an excuse not to go through with it. Or maybeI'm crazy to even consider mutilating myself for some machismo egothing. I don't know!Mar. 4, 2001Somehow, I took it for granted that I couldn't go to church lastSunday. Today, I realized that that's just what I need. Carrie's notusually the church type, but she came happily enough when she saw me in mySunday best.I feel resolved. I didn't get some big supernatural message, not like thecalling I got to go on mission. But I felt good, I felt right, praying toGod as a woman. And I realized - I guess that I shouldn't worry aboutit. If I can face my God joyfully this way, then why shouldn't I face therest of my life, too? I've been afraid to stay this way, without any goodreason but with this irrational.
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