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‘Headache?’ the voice asked sympathetically.I nodded my reply, unwilling to do anything that risked the massage stopping.‘It’s not surprising. This isn’t really your scene, you know.’ One hand slid up my neck and stroked my filigree elf earrings. ‘Elf princess belongs in the woods.’I murmured my agreement. It was silly to have worn elf ears to a vampire party anyway. I didn’t know why I had. Just because I liked them, I guess, and I never had anywhere to wear them.‘Why don’t you come and sit down?’ the voice continued, helping me off the bar stool and leading me gently but firmly from behind towards some couches in a darker corner.Miraculously, one of the couches was empty and I settled down onto it with a huge sigh of gladness. My new friend settled in behind me, letting me rest back against him like a pillow. His hand started stroking my face, my throat, my shoulders, rubbing with practiced skill against the knots in my neck and shoulders. I murmured with pleasure.‘Oh, you’ve found. "Today, the Government has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land!Now, in Canada, we can only retire at 67, not 65. The government officials get the big bucks in their pocket and can retire at 55 with full protected pension while the taxpayers, us, slave for pennies and they're even getting rid of them. Go figure.I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Old Age Security, retirement funds, etc, I called a Suicide Hotline.I had to press 3 for English.I was connected to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal.They got excited and asked if I could fly a plane or drive a truck.Folks, we're screwedDoctors(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.© Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health and Human Services.Now think about this:Guns(A) The number of gun owners.
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