Martha saw my mother as a good, conscientious, likeable woman. Martha cautioned me that I should not think my Mom didn't love me; but I should accept the fact that Mom might never be the mother I needed. Nor did I have even the memory of a father, mine having died when I was barely two. In my family circle there were few competent male figures; those that remained were simply worn out, resigned to life as dictated by others. My overbearing stepdad typified the opposite extreme of heedless masculinity and intolerance. I'd apparently been living in an emotional and intellectual vacuum; I lived surreptitiously, letting others see only those parts of me that I could twist into a mere copy of what they expected.I said glumly, "I hate all of them. I distrust and dislike every one of them." No!" Martha said forcefully. She pounded the table once with a clenched fist. "No, Steven! Don't hate. Understand. They did what they could. They did what they knew to do. It wasn't much, in my humble. I tentatively took my own clothes off and crawled onto the bed. On my hands and knees I nervously licked the head of his dick. He thrust forward slightly and I was sucking my first real dick. I did my best to mimic what I had seen in porns. I wanted to be a good cocksucker. After I gagged a few times he told me to get my ass in the air.I had never really considered this possibility. I had imagined I would blow this guy for a while, he would shoot his load and that would be it. I looked at him spreading lube on his now condom covered cock and knew I wanted this to happen. I bent over and buried my face in the pillows. He fingered my hole a little bit and it wasn't too bad. Then he started squeezing his cock in and it HURT. It felt like I was going to be ripped in two. I was almost ready to tell him to stop when I felt his balls touch my ass. I gritted my teeth as he continued to fuck me for another five minutes or so. The thought of me being dominated by this stranger was turning me.
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