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A lot of people complemented me i was looking beautiful, gorgeous, sexy…blah blah. They don’t need to say these i know i am beautiful.To tell about myself, i am a common beautiful Indian girl; though people say i am sexy i don’t consider myself to be so. As i was sipping my coke, my Anil, my devar came up to me and putting his hand forward asked-“can i dance with you?”i was shocked by his audacity and stared at him for a moment. I turned to ask Arun for permission, but he dozed off. I exhaled and nodded my head.“Yes sure.”We hit the dance floor. It was some Hindi track and Arun and i danced to it like others did. I was just shaking my legs and raising my hands now and then. Since today there was a party, i shaved my underarm with veet in the morning. Anil was also matching steps with me, though one or two times i felt uncomfortable when he touched my waist or my back, still i did not say anything. A slow English track followed and everyone got closer to their partners and the guys. I couldn't really do what I wanted to dofreely at my mothers house, it was getting harder to find time formyself as there was always either mum or dad at home and its not as if Ican just slip into a skirt, top and heels and just walk around the housein front of them, no matter how much I wanted that, OH, I so did wantthat! I know I wanted freedom but that meant leaving home, until I hada job, I had to respect that I couldn't do what I wanted when I want athome and with that came a slight epiphany. I wasn't asking myself if Iwanted to anymore more, I wasn't trying to restrain myself from thinkingthe way I do or wanting what I did. It felt good to "accept" this partof myself and my life. I haven't a clue how or when that came about butit was right, no longer was it a case of "should I" or "Could I" it wasa "how do I go about this?"I decided I had come to quite an important decision sat there and thatmaybe, just maybe, the film directors had a point!? Or maybe it was justsheer.
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