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Just like sticking with my lousy job for all these years. It was easier to go with the flow than make waves. I am forty-three years old, the same age as Sylvia. Half my life is past me, but I’m still in what most people would think of as their prime. I have twenty-four years of experience behind me and surely someone would value that. Hell, my customers regularly told me that if I ever wanted a job to come see them. So, what was keeping me from changing everything? Inertia? Yeah, probably. Better the devil you know than the one you don’t. Fear? That too. Where would I go? What would I do? So instead, I just learned to live with it. I felt like I was walking close to the edge of a cliff. Another few steps and I would be over … falling into what? All I had to do was stop, turn around, and walk the other way. So easy to say, so difficult to do. It was almost seven o’clock when they announced our aircraft would be at the gate in five minutes, and after a quick crew change, we would be. The temptation to see what I might see each time she sat was almost irresistible. One time she locked herself out of her place. She rang our place. Trace was out but I drove over to help her. I could remove the louvers from her laundry window but was too big to get through. I hoisted her to the sill and steadied her as she scrambled onto the washing machine. My hands were on her hips and I was looking right up her skirt. She had boyish haunches, skin hued tights and sky blue cotton panties. Between her legs her underwear was so swollen a blind man would have got a hard-on. Her legs waved as she worked her way through the gap. I let her nylon covered feet brush my face. ‘We know you’ve got the hots for Pam.’ I imagined the two of them having ‘mere male’ chats over coffee and pastries. I imagined, too, Pam’s knees and hemline. ‘You’ll only turn forty once and, just once, Pam has decided to do something about it but you have to follow her instructions.’ They had decided I would dine.
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