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She reeled me in here in Dallas. I don't know if I was the fish or the fisherman, and my metaphor is getting confused ... but my mom always said if it looks too good to be true, it almost certainly is. Why didn't I think about that months ago?I guess I knew it was, all along. But why do it? Who cared what the reason was? I just wanted out.Of course, I might be making all this up. I had a fear of losing the best thing in my life, because I thought I wasn't worthy of that best thing. Was it a justified fear, or an unjustified fear? Fuck if I knew.I wanted to be out of this mess, and, at the same time, I didn't want to end it with Cyn. She lied to me and I hated it ... and I still loved the woman that saved my life, not once but twice. And did so again here in Dallas. She was a wonderful partner. Sexy. Fun and funny. Attuned to me. Sigh. Well, she was attuned to me the 75% of the time she was married to me. So, maybe 75% or maybe not 25%. I'd have to give it one more month – one more. "It is you, Don. Itreally is you. What the hell happened?" How did you know?" It...it's something in your eyes, I guess." Look," I said. "How about if we go out on the patio and I'll explainwhat happened, at least as best as I can figure it out." She nodded. Itwas a warm morning, with just a slight breeze. I enjoyed the sensation ofthe air tickling my bare knees.Soon we were seated on one of the tables. I wanted to be outdoors so wecould smoke. God, I really needed a cigarette right now. I reached intomy purse, pulled out a pack, extracted a Virginia Slim and lit it."My Marlboro Man is now a Virginia Slims gal? You have come a long way,baby." She stifled a giggle. "Can I have one, too?" Brittany was a socialsmoker, not a daily one like me, but I could see she needed the calmingeffect of a cig. I held the lighter for her. She took a long drag, tiltedher head back to exhale the plume, and said "Glad your gentlemanly wayshaven't disappeared entirely." Then, after a flicker of.
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