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She replied in a nasty tone, "Nine! But why do you care about that?"The judge answered patiently, "Well, ma'am, because I'm going to give you nine days in jail -- one day for each peach."As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady's long-suffering husband raised his hand slowly and asked if he might speak.The judge said, "Yes sir, what do you have to add?"The husband said meekly, "Your Honor, she also stole a can of peas."Square TesticlesAn elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Ireland one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, '$165,000'.The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to. Small villages, fields with crops and sheep herds are passing by regularly. The area is indeed beautyful and perfect for holiday. But you are still a little bit unsure about your sudden invitation to a lords estate. Two weeks ago you recived a letter from a man called lord Alexander. He invited you to his estate for a free vacation with every advantage his guest normally get. At first you thought of a joke but suddenly your employer calld you in his office and allowed you a holiday you never asked for.When you googled lord alexander you found an old article about a member of the house of lord who passed a law that saved many small family buisinesses and farms from bankruptcy. But it was not clear to anyone how he managed to silence his lobby-supported opponents. A few people even accused him of blackmail. After his political career ended ten yeares ago for personal reasons (media said his wife died during a social mission in third world) he opened his mansion in scotland for guests.
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