"Here is yours", she said, stepping to the empty, open coffin. "And this is for your beloved Jonathan, if he so chooses" "Come, Take your rest" I stepped up and into the open empty coffin, and lay down. It felt so safe, quiet, and peaceful. When I awoke, I was lying on my back, my hands folded as if I were laid for burial. I felt more peaceful and refreshed than I have for many days.October 3The undertaker came this morning. I looked through his book and ***********ed a casket. A rather simple design of white enameled wood, lined with satin. He took some measurements, and we discussed the details of the service. I told him that the wedding flowers would do for my funeral as well. I told him my wedding gown and veil to be used for my burial garments. I do want Jonathan to see me in my wedding gown, even if it is to be as I lie in my coffin. We discussed my funeral as calmly as I discussed my wedding a few weeks ago. Only now does that seem strange.October 4 I feel so weak today,. In fact, they worked too damn well.We started out trying role-play and things went great for the first few months; the trouble started when Lorrie asked me what my biggest fantasy was. In fact, I had several, hitting a hole-in one, bowling a three hundred game, hitting the lottery, but I had no sexual fantasies - none, nada, zip. Lorrie kept pressing me to give her a sexual fantasy so finally I picked one out of the air - watching her with another man. Now I had never had such a fantasy, in fact the only sexual fantasies I'd ever had were the ones you had when you were young and stupid, like screwing Marilyn Monroe or having Ann-Margaret chasing you. But I had to tell Lorrie something so I choose wife watching (refer to definition at start of story, especially the part underlined make-believe).I did not know it at the time, but Lorrie's definition of fantasy was different (refer to definition at start of story, especially the part underlined fulfilling a wish). Lorrie then told me.
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