When Pey got home she wanted to find out all about Beca. We had fun trying to explain to my eight-year-old sister about migration patterns. I think she actually got it. Beca’s mom picked her up right at five o’clock, so she was gone before Mom and Dad got home.30 November 2018I have such a mix of emotions when I wake up the morning after. My body feels great—alive—full of energy. I guess even my mind seems refreshed and I have a feeling of pride. I’m proud that she still wants me, even though I can handle myself now. But she’s not my lover now because I need her help. She’s my lover because she wants to be loved by me. That’s kind of wild.I’m also proud that I can fulfill her desires. Me, a half-crippled freshman and her, a pregnant senior who didn’t really love or care for the guy who planted the baby. And she has desires to be fulfilled. She wants something different every time we’re together. I think she’s memorizing the book I gave her. A lot of the things she suggests, I don’t. We met online when we were only 14. It started out as friendly chat buddies, but later turned into dirty e-mails, webcam, and letters. I can honestly say that even though we lived in two different states, that I truly felt that I had fallen for him. I wanted to meet him face to face more than anything, but I was never sure how he felt about the situation. Two years ago, on December 22, I asked Jesse to come visit me for Christmas. I was going to be in a play that my grandmother’s church put on every year, and wanted him to be there. ‘I’m going to be Santa’s helper in this year’s play.’ I told Jesse that night on the phone, ‘It would be nice if you could make it up here to see it.’ I wanted more than anything for Jesse to come visit. My body ached and yearned to feel his touch, to taste him, and so much more. I thought that this would be the perfect opportunity, we were both out of school for Christmas break. ‘I will try my best Heather, but I am not making any promises that I can’t.
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