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After a couple of bites I was quite sure the chef out back was some sort of culinary genius and, right on cue, she came out a moment later carrying a plate of sashimi to set out on the table. She set the plate down and looked my way, I waved, she smiled at me then walked back into the kitchen. I, of course, made my way over to the sashimi. I am not modest when it comes to raw fish, or so I’ve been told. Ted had looked at the chef as she returned to the kitchen, then wandered over to a dark corner and put his arms around a sweet young thing and kissed her. I mean really kissed her. It was one of those big, lingering, open-mouthed kisses one finds in movies with leading ladies named Dixie or Saber — a real ‘one hand-on-butt the other on-breast’ kind of kiss. Ted seemed to be quite the ladies man. And I suppose he still is, bless his heart. I watched these goings-on for a while, and saw that Ted was like a hummingbird, buzzing from group to group, hovering with one man, laughing with. I had seen him watching me and I knew he wanted me, I knew men and the angrier I made him the more he wanted me. Every time I sported a new injury he would shake his head and sneer at me calling me a stupid cunt. I was happier than I had ever been, but still afraid all the time of being rejected and replaced, so I continued to do all I could to make sure Johnny needed me and that he knew he no one else on earth would let him abuse them and love it the way I did. I went about my life cleaning the hotel rooms and being Johnny's everything, wearing my bruises and cuts proudly. I loved wearing his marks, the marks of Johnny's love, thats what I would call them and he would always laugh, asking, "who the hell said I loved you?" and ruffle my hair or slap my ass. I would just smile because I knew that Johnny was falling in love with me. We had been together for almost a year the first time he uttered the words, but I would never refer to it, I knew at the time he said them he wished.
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