I was terrified ofwhat lay ahead of me. I wished that I could go back to just a few daysago when I thought I had it all under control.I knew that I did not really want to do what the group that held mecaptive wanted me to do to be considered a man. I was not into teamsports, especially with the slender build that I had. I was notinterested in cars and machines. I wondered why was it wrong for a manto be effeminate if that was who he was. Why did I have to act a certainway to be considered a man. I know that my father and brothers weredisappointed in the fact that I did not act macho. I just wanted to beme and did not think that it is wrong for a man to be sensitive and intouch with his feelings.I guess I have been a quiet dreamer all of my life. I liked to enjoy thebeauty of roses and the other flowers in bloom. I loved to smell thefragrance of fresh cut grass. I enjoyed the gurgling of a water fall orthe babbling of a brook. Maybe this may make me seem like less of a. “We’ll see,” he said. “And I will say, I am very appreciative of the fact that you see me the way you do; it’s important to me.”He sought me out not me him. That said, it was me had the first word.“If you want to talk to me fine, but she is not to be mentioned, not today,” I said. He nodded. It was clear that he knew the score. He wasn’t happy about it, but he knew what had gone done that was certain.“So?” he said.“I thought you were okay with him being up there on the stage with me,” I said.He nodded. “I was. I wanted him to be,” he said. I believed him. “Sam your fatherhood is recognized by me by everybody.”“And so is yours by me. I guess this is where we turn the corner. I mean if what you say is the straight of it,” I said.“It is. But Sam, I do need to talk about the untalkaboutable,” he said. His look was—sad. I narrowed my eyes and I snorted; but I shrugged my okay, my reluctant okay. There was a long pause, a couple of minutes. I just waited.“Sam. The woman loves you, she loves.
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