I was left barren and blank of any passion. So many people wish me well but they do not see what is wrong in the first place. Just as usual, all they seek is for me to fit on their definition of “normal”. What used to be my little vibrant castle is now nothing more than a dusty garage. All that’s left of my world of warm colors is a haunting realm of freezing walls and rotten floor. Perhaps this is the peaceful decay that comes after the days of glory. Only the echoes of rain stifles the dreadful silence of this monochromatic world. Emptiness that tears cannot fill. A hollow shell with nothing inside. But that isn’t the worst of it. Lifelessly, I hung my head up and stared at the framed portrait hanging on the center of my studio. It was the last of my works and the most loathsome of them all. It was the portrait of a phoenix rising from the ashes with a burning field on her background. The legend of the phoenix is the embodiment of rebirth and the symbolism of immortality. It was. Then there had been the rocky horror Halloween party which justcried out for me to dress. Unfortunately at that one I was the mostconvincing girl and it had obviously stuck in their minds.) So, If youget another double six, you still get to give a blowjob, but you turn updressed in drag" Dave and Brian pissed themselves laughing at this, weall knew that the odds of me rolling another double six were vanishinglysmall, 1/216, but they got to have a laugh anyway.I decided I might as well get this over so I could get firmly back intomy closet. I picked up the dice. As I shook them in my hand I reallywasn't sure what I wanted the outcome to be. I threw them across thetable, one of them ricocheting off Dave's beer glass and then both ofthem coming to a slow stop in the middle of the table. Double Six.FuckDave and Brian cheered, they knew they'd won. Their cheers were as much asense of relief as anything and while I'd lost, the cheers were stillthose of friends. In our time we had all done.
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