“I need to know what to expect or I’ll be too nervous.” She turned around. “Oh, I should just cancel and not go,” she said, stamping her foot and raising her hand to cover her face.“Mom, Mom,” I said, stepping up to her back and putting my arms around to comfort her. “Don’t be silly. It’s nothing, really.” She sniffed. “Look, I’ll show you.” Gently, I turned Mom around. When she was facing me, her head lowered, I started with my hands on her shoulders as I had with Mrs. J the day before. “See,” I soothed as I ran my palms down the outside of her arms, “there’s nothing to it.”Mom was wearing a blouse and stretchy pants similar to the outfit Mrs. J had been wearing when I demonstrated the pat-down to their group. Quickly, I pushed my hands up the inside of her arms and then down her sides, scraping over the side swells of her smaller breasts like I’d done with Mrs. J and into the deeper curve of her smaller waist and then out to her hips. Pausing, I said, “See, nothing to it” before. Patience is important.I always used to say that undercover work cannot affect you, but thistime it did. I was really enjoying myself - not just pretending. Itwas like a vacation. You step out of your job and the stresses of thatand empty your head of almost everything except being pretty andlearning how to be prettier.I am not wanting to be dismissive of high school girls, but it seemedto me that this was a time in their life that was fairly cruisy. I didnot menstruation and boyfriends to worry about, and schoolworkpresented no challenge because I had done it all before. We just hadour simple pleasures, and lots and lots of talking.The other big difference for me, when looking back and my own time inhigh school, was that I was universally accepted. Rather than being afreak I was just like everybody else, except maybe prettier.I think that being attractive is not only about the shape of your body,the size of your eyes, and the angle of your cheekbones, it is abouthow you carry.
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