It was like a time capsule.I looked out the window, and across the space, to the next house. It was the same house that had always been there. There were blinds now in the window of what had been Suzie’s room. I remember standing at this very spot, blushing as she undressed for bed having “accidentally” left the window shade open. The brash, forward, daring Suzie of back then was not really there anymore, but the shell of her seemed to remain buried in the well-off, veterinarian, doctor’s wife.I sat on the old reading chair in my room and thought. Being happy does not always mean a lack of regret. The game of ‘What if?’What if I had never beat Frank up? What if I had come back sooner? What if Suzie and I had stayed together? What if we went to college together? What if we had done our work life here, or near here? What if she had never tried to become an upper-middle-class Manhattanite? Would she have had the happy life she wanted with me? Or would we have inevitably changed into. Often he was out of town in other cities, and it provided me the time to indulge myself with laying out on our deck.My son would usually sleep until four in the afternoon, so I had the privacy to do as far as what to wear.I would usually come home, strip down to a thong, pick up my sun oil and dark sunglasses, and be on the deck by one o'clock. Sometimes iced tea or a wine cooler would be my refreshment for the day.I knew some of my son's friends would often come by to go out to the local Hooter's before he went to work, but that was never before late afternoon.I guess I was napping, lying on my back, and didn't hear the arrival of his friend, Kent. He must have come into the house and up to Mike's room to get him up early. I didn't realize what was happening until Mike went on the deck to tell me he was leaving with Kent to go to a sporting goods store to get some fishing equipment.The dark sunglasses were shielding his face, and I initially didn't know Kent was in the sliding glass.
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