Without exactly intending to I said, "Yes, master." I could almost feel the wide smile of the Red Devil. "Excellent answer, my girl! You are indeed learning. But do not be too proud. There is much, much yet for you to learn. You are still far too proud. But this punishment softens you, it takes you places you never thought you'd go. It takes you beyond yourself. Once there your true self can begin to emerge. Do you understand?" "Yes, master," I said quickly and with a trace of awe. The frightening thing was that I _did_ understand. I understood it so clearly that it scared me. Because the captain was correct: I needed harsh discipline. I needed to be spanked. I was proud and willful and all of my bravado was nothing but words in the wind. I acted rebellious and heroic because that was the way I thought I was supposed to act. Inside I knew that it was just an act. It was nothing I believed in. In fact, I suddenly realized, I had not worn the sheet because I was shy or attempting to. I think I remember some football coaches telling me the same thing. I wondered when I would have time to do both.I met Kendal and Adrienne at the Chicago Yacht Club. We were doing a print ad for a new men's cologne called Sea Mist. The photographer wanted to get shots of the Chicago skyline from the deck of a sail boat. I was excited about going sailing until they had me stand on the bow and we slammed down, causing a spray of Lake Michigan water to soak me – it was really cold. Our photographer thought I looked great as we headed directly into the waves so we could maximize the amount of water the boat would send flying as it cut through the chop.When my lips turned blue, they finally let me go below decks, to warm up. What a mistake that was. I was fine until I couldn't see the horizon. The boat was rocking, and I closed my eyes only for a moment. I had never experienced seasickness before. I thought it was just something made up. How could you get sick from the motion of a boat?.
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