After that, I didn't bother myself again, because I knew that only the real thing would make me feel better.A few days later, awake too early and moping over the Misuse of Drugs Act - which I was reading as a kind of personal penance, I paid no attention to the sound of the postman pushing mail through the squeaky flap. When I picked up my letters after a desultory breakfast, my heart skipped several beats. In my hand was an envelope with familiar writing, and the hope or fear that it might contain made me stand and just breathe for several minutes.'Darling Jill, ' I clutched at my collar for strength. 'I have been thinking long and very seriously about you, because you deserve my total honesty. My problem is this, and it's nothing to do with who you are. I'm so scared of loving you, of opening my life up to you, of how loving you will effect that life. I have to find out if I have the strength, if I'm brave enough to do the things I have to do and still keep you. As you may. Mai usko apne room par le aaya. Aur usko chair par baithakar uske liye pine ke liye pani lekar aaya, usne pani piya. Phir maine usase khaneke liye pucha to usne mana kar diya, ki usne already khana kha liya hai.mere room me only single bed hai, maine apne liye niche bed laga liya aur usko upper bed par sone ko bola toh usne niche sone ke liye bola toh maine usko samjhaya ki tum meri guest ho tum upper so jao mai niche so jata hu but usne nahi mana. Then wo neeche let gayi aur mai upper late gaya.maine late-2 hi uska name pucha toh usne apna name kavita bataya, aur usne bataya ki wo yaha kuch jaruri kam se aaj hi aayi hai aur kam late ho jane ki bajah se uski buss miss ho gayi thi. Wo dekhne me kisi medium family se lagti thi.Phir maine tv on kar diya mai tv dekhne laga aur usko bhi need nahi aa rahi thi, aur wo bhi tv dekhne ki koshish kar rahi thi but usko tv neeche se clear nahi dikhayi de raha tha toh maine usko bed par baithkar tv dekhne ke liye bola toh wo bed par mere bagal me.
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