For some strange reason. Besides which, I was also very much turned on by you!"Take a good look at yourself in the mirror, darling. You are a very attractive woman. If I had not seen you that morning in the mall, I am certain some unappreciative cunt of a woman would have taken you home. Truthfully, Tamara, you are a very special person. And you will be my second sexiest wife. Of course, if that is what you decide. I really hope you will say yes, baby. Please say you will marry me. Everything I own will be yours."I almost felt embarrassed when Esther said that, but I knew she was being very serious. When I started to cry, she held me, rocking me gently, whispering softly to me."Hush, baby. I'm so sorry. Look at you, your entire body is shaking. What did I say, lover? Hush. You know I would never upset you, don't you? If I did something wrong, sweetheart, tell me."I felt so safe in Esther's arms that I almost didn't want to let her know how happy her words had made me. But I could. It wasn’t that our tragic American tour hadn’t been news. It just wasn’t the sort that would justify a press stake-out or more than a few column inches in the middle pages of a family newspaper. Sure there’d been obituaries for Crystal Passion in the Guardian, the NME, the Wire and Smash Hits, but I got the impression that the tribute writers got their information directly from our label, Gospel Records. There was a brief mention of Crystal Passion’s murder on Have I Got News for You in which more effort was expended in explaining to Ian Hislop what a Riot Grrrl was than on any insight into Crystal Passion or her music. It was obvious that what interested the British media wasn’t that a couple of almost unknown musicians had been murdered but that it took place in South Carolina which, by virtue of being one of the original Confederate States, was therefore the home of racism, religious bigotry and mind-blowing ignorance and stupidity. There is nothing that the British—in.
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