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"We call this the sexercise room," Candy told me as she continued on with the tour."Why do you call it that?" I asked."You'll see. We have three women scheduled to be here this morning at 7:00. Just make sure you have plenty of fresh towels and juice waiting for them," she said giving me a 'look'.Even I had to laugh at that one."Careful, you laugh like a guy, not a girl," she said giggling.That shut me up as I glanced around fearfully, wondering if anyone else might have overheard."And in here is the Sauna. After they've worked out, you'll provide them with more towels, and whatever else they need," Candy said showing me the room, starting up the unit so it would be ready and waiting for them.We'd just finished the tour when Jane came around the corner looking for us. "Candy? They're here. Why don't you take Brandi down to meet them. Brandi? Come see me around 10:00, there's some paper work you'll need to fill out for me ok?"I nodded my head, though my falsetto wasn't bad, I didn't. Professor Hackenbacker spoke in his rich baritone voice."I hear that there is an ancient fair held each year in a place called Little Sprodwell. This is a festivity which has roots going far back into the pagan and pre Celtic past of this country where each year is re-enacted an ancient pagan sacrifice of a young maiden as an appeasement of the fertility gods." Bollocks!" said Professor Potts-Johnson in his reedy and querulous tones. "And the full name of that one-horse arse hole of the universe is Little Sprodwell under Fosse - God help us all!" I beg your pardon, Professor, but I have this on the very best authority. The trouble with you locals is you can't see the wood for the trees. You are blind to the treasures to be found in your own back yard." Bollocks, if you will excuse the repetition, Professor! This particular shindig is as phoney and ersatz as it comes. Believe me, I know! The presiding genius is a relative of mine - the black sheep of the family and a total charlatan to.
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