.." Mikey started to object, confused.What did his mother mean?"Shh h." She put his hand over his mouth and kissed himon the forehead. "Come with me." Taking his hand shestood up and helped him to his feet. Hand in hand theywalked to the hall and toward her room."Mom," Mikey said, letting go of her hand. "I'm goingto go grab a glass of water. I'll be right in."His Mom smiled in agreement and let him go.As Mikey walked back downstairs and into the kitchenthoughts we racing through his mind. His mother seemedokay with everything that had happened, but he wasn'tsure he was. Right now he saw her as his mother, theloving mother he had always known. He felt that guiltagain. He felt nothing sexual towards her now and hewas confused as to why she was doing this. He filled aglass with water and thirstily gulped it down. Hefilled it up again and reluctantly made his way backupstairs.As he turned into his mother's room, he saw she wasalready in bed and under the covers. He looked at her,and she. "Do you talk to him often, your boyfriend?" I asked."No, we both felt a clean break would be best. Maybe someday the universe will glue itself back together, and I'll be able to get back together with him. But I'm not going to sit back and hope for it. If it's right, it'll happen."Her words made me pause and consider my own life. I had no one in it who I could call "right." And that fact hit me with tremendous force. Damien was not the one. Ben was not the one. Rob was not the one. Marcos was not the one. I had no one, really. I was just riding different attractions at an amusement park. Wasting time.What had I been expecting to get out of my relationship with Damien? A marriage? Kids?The thought almost made me laugh. I couldn't marry a guy whose favorite activity was tying me up and inviting his friends over to spooge all over my face and tits. And yet at the same time, I knew if Damien called me now, I'd make an excuse and go over to his penthouse and do whatever he asked. What the.
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