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In fact, the only annoyance at my new home was the seagulls. Of course, you get them almost everywhere inland these days, but I did tire of their constant noise and of them shitting all over the place. My neighbour was Mr Shepard. He was 70, if he was a day. He was a retired barber from the West End of London. He used to regale me with tales of his famous and infamous customers, though rarely of the more humdrum ones. Evidently, his salon had been a fairly lucrative business. He was a stocky man, completely bald on top but with a neatly trimmed white moustache. He always wore dark, neatly pressed trousers and had a taste for striped shirts. His shoes shone immaculately, whether brown or black, and he always wore a matching thick leather belt. It soon became clear to me that this handsome old devil was gay, whereas my own sexuality had always been a little, how shall we say, ambiguous? Despite myself, I fancied him something rotten. I was amazed to find he’d refitted one of the. Lights came on and lots of excited chatter filled the room. “What did I tell you” gushed Tim “wasn’t that slut truly amazing?” I agreed with him but I also had a million question for “that slut” when I got home. “Come on Tim” I said “I need a drink” and we stopped at a pub before going home. I noticed the lights were on when Tim dropped me off so I knew Bev was already home. I let myself in and found her in a robe and sitting on the couch. We looked at each other, unsure who would speak first. Finally she said “I saw you tonight. We need to talk”. “Too bloody right we do” I snapped.I sat down on a chair opposite her. Silence for a minute or two and I thought I had better start. “Bev, what were you doing there tonight? Is this what that women’s group is all about?” She came over and sat on my lap. She explained that in the beginning the group was as she had explained. Talking about life and it then became about sex and different types of sex. “So you cheated on me” I exclaimed. “No.
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